My heart

Yesterday I felt led to inquire about adoption.  I mean actually taking a step to maybe see if I could do it.  I found out that there is a country that might work with me and my husband.  There is one child listed in that country.  I looked and this is what I saw.

Girl, Born on February 5, 2005 
This little girl has dark green eyes and dark brown hair.   She is walking and a  delightful girl.  She also has FAS.   She is considered relatively low  functioning, and will need a loving family who can give her all the love and  attention she has been missing!
- Single moms, older parents, and large families welcome
- The first trip is about 2 weeks, 2^nd trip is 3-4 days, the last trip is 5-7 days
- Both parents for 2 weeks for bonding time
- One parent returns for 5 days to complete Embassy paperwork
- Total cost, including travel approx $22,000
- Stay in a furnished apartment or house with your new child for bonding
- Multiple unrelated children be be adopted.

$146.50 is available towards the cost of my adoption! 

Now let me tell you I love many, many children.  There are many children I would love to take home.  But under my qualifications I never got my hopes up.  It was out of reach in the other countries. But this one may be possible.  A may be possible was so much better than an impossible.   I wouldn't even put her picture on facebook so no one would "take" her before I talked to my husband.  So I jumped the gun and got my heart hurt.  You see I thought God was telling me that's your daughter!  But I either heard wrong or my husband didn't get the same memo.  You know he's right.  We cannot afford to adopt even if we didn't have the adoption red tape as a issue.  Needless to say I went to bed last night with a heavy heart.  I expressed my disappointment in my group of Christmas Warriors, posted her picture and went to sleep.

I woke up at 2:30 in the morning thinking of Brigita.  I couldn't stop thinking of her.  I loved her so much already.  I argued with myself for not shielding my heart better and asking God what was he trying to tell me!  I then decided that as much as I loved her I had to let her go.  Its not like I ever had her but in my heart I knew I needed to let her go.  So I made a choice to fight for her and to find her a family.  I loved her with a mother's love and needed her to be safe and protected.  Shes almost 7! I went back to bed and woke up to a message on face book from a fellow AT warrior.  She told me she wanted to adopt her at one time as did 2 others.  For some reason none of us could but have been brought together for a reason..."Nothing happens by accident." I believe we were brought together to save our "daughter." As silly as it seems, we all loved her with that mother's love.  I'm not upset about it, Im comforted.  And all I want to do is find her family.  

So if any of you have considered adopting an older child may I suggest this one? I will fund raise to the best of my ability,  as I'm sure the others will too.  Give Brigita another look and see if you are the mommy (or daddy) that will take her home.  Please.

John 14:18

New International Version (NIV)

¹⁸ I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.